Last week, we clearly DID step on toes... many of you told me so. We used a hiking analogy to make the point that delegation isn't a dirty word.

You’re hiking with your people—but somehow you’re the only one carrying the load. Seriously???

Now.... I know it's tempting to start handing out trail mix and assigning roles, but before you do, I want you to take a minute to look around.

Who’s actually rocking with you?

And—maybe more importantly—why are they even there? (Uh, oh... Did I step on your toes again?)

It's okay.... I got you. Let's do a little inventory. Let's start with your team. Who are you traveling with?

(Important side note: today we're talking about the work environment. Next week, we'll get into what to do if it's your friend, cousin or partner... tricksy stuff, I know.)

Now that you’ve got some names and faces in mind, ask yourself:

• Are they showing up when it counts?
• Are they learning, growing, pulling their weight?
• Or are they just along for the ride?

And...

Let’s start here: I’m about to step on some toes. Yours, mine, and probably a few folks who aren't even on this list. But we’ve gotta talk about this.

There’s a moment that sneaks up on so many of us—when you're standing in the kitchen, or on a Zoom call, or staring down your to-do list—and the quiet resentment starts to bubble.

"Why am I the one who always has to handle this?"

"Why does everything fall on me?"

We’re overwhelmed. Angry. 

But here’s the truth: it’s our own fault. 

Why?

Well... somewhere along the way, we got the message that being overwhelmed was just part of the deal. That carrying the weight of the world was noble.

Let’s call it what it actually is: ego.

Sometimes (not always, but often enough) the root reason why we don’t EVEN THINK of delegating is a little thing called self-importance.

Yep, I said it. 

And here’s what it looks like. We think:

• No one else can do it like I can.

• If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.

• They need me.

So...

Hey friend… can we get honest for a minute?

Sometimes, when I talk about reinvention—about setting a new course, taking the reins, choosing a better life—I can feel it land. I see the lightbulb flicker. I see the nod. I see the hope in your eyes.

I hear the whisper: “Yes. I want that.”

But other times? I see something else entirely.
I see people go still.
I see blank stares, forced smiles, a quiet retreat inward.
And what I sense behind that silence is this:

I don’t even know where to begin.

I get it.

Because when you’ve been carrying too much for too long…
When your energy is stretched thin and your nervous system is fried…
When life has handed you more than your fair share of pain, disappointment, or betrayal…

Dreaming can feel like a luxury you can’t afford.

Sometimes the idea of “reinvention” feels like a cruel joke when you’re still just trying to get through the day without falling apart.

And in those moments, it’s easy to default into survival mode.

We start circling the wa...

So…. you know I’m the first one to cheer you on when it comes to setting bold goals, dreaming big, and reinventing your life. I’m all about it. Always have been.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about something that doesn’t get talked about enough.

What happens when dreaming becomes dodging?

Let me explain.

We all know how good it feels to chase something new. That fresh start energy? The adrenaline of a big idea? That little burst of “I’m doing something with my life!” It’s real. It’s addictive. And if you’re not careful—it becomes the only thing you chase.

I’ve got a name for this. I call it dopamine junkie mode.

It’s when you leap from dream to dream, goal to goal, without ever slowing down long enough to fully land. You move the goalposts before you’ve even touched down in the end zone. You skip the part where you rest, reflect, and actually feel what you’ve accomplished.

And you know what? I get it. There’s a certain high that comes with being “in motion.” It feels productive...

 Last week I talked about how I've been tryin' to hold on through a wild season of change. 

This week? Let's talk about that wheel that gets extra wobbly during times like this: Friendship.

And to be real, I’m not just talking about friendships.

I’m talking about the shame and tension that comes with not being the friend you wish you could be.

You know what I mean, right? That pressure to be intentional, thoughtful and consistent—when you’re just trying to make it through your day.

Let me tell you what triggered all this for me.

I’ve been watching Meghan Markle’s new show, With Love, From Meghan. And listen—she is lovely. She’s kind. She’s intentional. She’s making jam, harvesting honey, wrapping sweet little gifts with handwritten notes and natural twine. SIGH...

And the whole time I’m watching, I’m thinking…

“I must be the worst friend.”

Because, come on...

• I’m running a business that just pivoted.
• I’m building out and launching Reinvention Hub.
• I’m in the middle of a s...

A couple of people recently asked me how the house is coming along… and that’s when it hit me: I’m basically living in a full-on metaverse of reinvention.

My physical home is being renovated.

I’m living with my partner while that’s happening (small space + both our stuff = a lot of learning).

And of course, I’m teaching and preaching reinvention in coaching sessions, on stage, and inside the Hub.

But here’s what I’ve realized: It’s one thing to talk about reinvention. It’s another to live it.

Right now, I feel like I’m driving a wild-stallion-pulled carriage—hanging on for dear life while flying toward a future I chose, bumping over potholes, trying to keep the wheels from falling off.

Real talk? Reinvention is messy. It’s beautiful, sure—but it’s also a lot of work. It’s stressful. It can feel lonely. And sometimes, it’s hard to believe the future version of your life is even lovable—especially when the present is hard to sit in.

But this week, I’ve been reminding myself of thi...

It’s 2024. It’s time to lead with value. Full stop. 

Why am I talking about this? Let me set the scene. 

It’s Sunday afternoon in downtown Raleigh. Over 100 Triangle Leaders are gathered. Dynamic conversations abound. And somehow I found myself in the middle of it.

What was the catalyst? The screening of the acclaimed documentary OnBoard the Film, covering the journey of corporate board diversity from Patricia Roberts Harris—the first Black woman to sit on a corporate board (and at IBM nonetheless)—to the present day. This film informed, inspired and empowered us all. 

The Discussion

Immediately following the screening, I had the honor of moderating the discussion with three extraordinary women: Gina Loften, Fortune 100 Board Director, Rashida Hodge, Corporate Vice President of Microsoft, and Trisha Price, Chief Product Officer of Pendo. Here are some of the things I was curious about. (While this isn’t a direct transcript, I’ve provided a few of the questions, answers and takeawa...

Now, you might have Shonda Rhimes’s Yes to Everything in mind but that’s not what we’re talking about here (and let’s be honest, that’s how people get roped into things like bungee jumping and running marathons—uh…. nooooo thank you!). 

I’m not talking about saying yes to everything; in fact, I want to talk about doing exactly the opposite. I’m talking about clearing out the clutter and making room for the things that really light us up, the things that make us shout "YES!" to the sky. 

Close your eyes and think about the last time you felt this. Remember the adrenaline rush, the victory dance you did in your kitchen… all that good stuff. Breathe. Remember. Imagine.

Because a life full of big YESSES is a real option! 

I was reminded of this while having coffee with a good friend at the top of the year. Just as we were getting ready to leave, she mentioned something that was her big yes and it caught my attention. It made me wonder why such a simple idea felt so novel to me in that ...

Can you remember a time when you witnessed the birth of an idea? Or a time when you created the environment that allowed for really good brainstorming? Moments like this are powerful and are often the beginnings of “good trouble.”

Over the last week, I experienced this in real time…twice. First during our Fall Reset Workshop  and then again five days later at the Black Founders Exchange Kickback hosted by Google for Startups and the American Underground. In each instance, questions, doubts and curiosities hung in the air. But rather quickly, walls were broken down, genuine connections were made and ideas flowed. 

It was cool to have a front row seat to this magic. It was like watching fireworks appear out of nowhere – and the formula was simple:

• First, to create the magic at all, someone has to take the initiative. If you want to be a part of something special, you might need to be the catalyst. In my case, I set up the gatherings, secured the spaces and crafted the guestlist.
• De...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

As the final notes of “Auld Lang Syne” fade and the remnants of fireworks sparkle in the night sky, many of us are imbued with optimism. After all, January 1st is heralded as the gateway to new beginnings and fresh starts. It’s the day we collectively agree that we’re allowed to push the giant red reset button. It’s a milestone moment.

And we love a good milestone, don’t we? Hallmark has fueled an entire industry to help us celebrate them. And milestones like January 1st, weddings, birthdays, or even that 1st year-sober chip hold power.

That said, here’s the hard truth that we don’t like to admit: there is no mystical transformation that takes place at the stroke of midnight. Our debts, our annoyances, our struggles—they don’t magically reset in the face of a new calendar page. At least… not on their own…

The magic of January 1st only works if you’ve laid the groundwork in advance. And in my opinion, there is one key component that makes or breaks...