(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
On New Yearâs Day morning, I watched a clip from Jimmy Kimmelâs interview with Michelle Obama. She said five words that instantly reframed my approach to 2023 (and basically my life here forward).
She said, âFear makes our world small.â
Now in that moment, I felt two very different things. Initially, my stomach flipped and I took a quick breath because it felt like she was calling me out. It was like she knew I was holding back in some places and took the opportunity to expose me on late night TV. But within a few seconds I regained my center and got a familiar charge of motivation. I immediately sent myself a text with those five words as a reminder that sinking into my fears simply keeps my world small and familiar. I also made a promise to myself to dig deep this year and find courage in the big and small moments ahead.
That said, what is the promise you will make to yourself this year⌠and whenâs the last time you made a promise (t
...Since itâs the end of the year, you might be expecting a âpie-in-the-sky, shoot-for-the-starsâ column. Well, surprise! This week I want to talk about cutting your losses. Finding your mojo in a sea of disappointment. While not pie in the skyâŚthis may be just what the doctor ordered to bravely step into 2023.
I was inspired by the Glass Onion, the new movie on Netflix that is both a well spun murder mystery (Iâve watched it twice) and a raw example of the human condition. The characters are all driven by greed, pride, envy and an insatiable need for self-promotion. We learn throughout the course of the movie that while each one is wildly successful, the risks they took to obtain that success are leaving them vulnerable and afraid to cut their losses.
Raise your hand if you took a personal risk this year and it flopped.
Show of hands if you jumped off a professional comfort cliff and landed on rocky terrain.
Some of you took risks in 2022 and got burned, am I right? M...
âTis the season for fresh starts and New Yearâs resolutions.
Itâs the time when we look back at the last 12 months and toy with visualization exercises in the hopes that they will manifest into our wildest dreams.
Visualization⌠manifestation⌠I know. These concepts can seem like a bright yellow balloon floating above our day-to-day reality. But thereâs a reason why these ideas continue to persist. Itâs because they work. Since this is a column and not a novel, I canât launch into the very specific and very real ways visualization (plus effort on my part) changed my life. But ask me the next time you see meâŚI love talking about it.
Popularized by The Secret and celebrity testimonials from Oprah, Jim Carrey and Deepak Chopra, to name a few, the concept of visualizing what you want has been around for a while. For decades, athletes, CEOâs and global leaders have used visualization exercises to achieve successful outcomes. The idea at its core is simple. Our minds are powerful. Focus (...
Well friend, itâs that point in the year where we attend holiday events and inevitably say⌠âWhere did the year go?â
Itâs true, these 12 months rolled by like Tina Turnerâs âProud Mary.â So if youâre reflecting on your key takeaways from this past year â good. Iâve been doing the same. Here are my Top 3 for â23.
1. Wherever you go, there you are.
This old adage holds true time and time again. A less poetic way to say it is, you can run but you canât hide. The point is, even if you change the things around you (your job, geographic location or personal relationships), you still bring your patterns, perspective, doubts and hopes into that environment.
In April, I learned that lesson the hard way. I ran away to Florida. I spent money on self-care. I dialed back my 1:1 interactions with friends and family. All in an effort to hide from burnout. But it wasnât until I turned toward my unease and into the stressors that were causing my exhaustion that I could solve for it. It took months ...
If you think about my career as a road map, you might imagine a cross country trip on Route 66. I have a plan. I have a destination. But I also have an insatiable curiosity. That curiosity has allowed me to take in the sights, read the billboards along the way and make a few unexpected stops. Lifeâs an adventure and Iâve enjoyed the ride.
So⌠why is it so hard to reinvent yourself? Why canât we all just click our heels three times and be done with it? Well, life. Life gets in the way.
That said, itâs possible. I know it is because Iâve reinvented myself multiple times. And Iâm quite sure Iâll do it again. With that in mind, letâs talk about the roadblocks I know are out there, and how to maneuver around them instead of slamming in to them head on.
Reinvention Roadblock #1: Maybe, you donât really want to travel this new route.
If you feel like thereâs always something more important in the way, then maybe this new route isnât really for you.
Hereâs a real-life example. A friend i...
Itâs December, yâall! Four weeks before we close out 2022. GeeshâŚ
For me, this is the day I start to take stock of whether time has conspired in my favor over the course of the year⌠or not. Luckily, Iâm writing from the gorgeous Outer Banks so this reflection is accompanied by a beachfront sunrise and a hot cup of coffee.
While charmed, this trip is not a vacation. Last Sunday, a few trusted friends and I met at this little oceanfront cottage with our new ideas and current projects in tow. We hung our pride at the front door and got down to business. The goal was to brainstorm new ways of looking at each otherâs work while anchoring ourselves in key milestones for the new year. Fresh eyes. Intention. A daily toast.
Today, I wanted to remind you of the secret to making a setting like this work. If youâre gonna throw business owners together to talk about their âpride and joyâ for days at a time, you better bring some âstretch vulnerabilityâ to the table.
I know, I knowâŚ
...(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
If youâre reading this, youâre likely celebrating American Thanksgiving or thinking about Shop Local deals. If youâre me, youâre anticipating Saturdayâs matchup between Ohio State and Michigan. The Game, as itâs aptly called, has tossed bragging rights back and forth across state lines since 1897.
And while healthy rivalries have the power to motivate and inspire, the real superpower lies in what unifies us. Whether in your workplace or at your Thanksgiving table, the art of finding common ground can create meaningful connections, end conflict, and inspire new ideas.
As a kid, I was lucky enough to learn from a master in this art. He built emotional bridges with people every day by finding common ground. And long before LinkedIn, he developed a huge network of trusted friends and colleagues because of that skill. This amazing human was my grandpa. Whatever gift you had, he could clearly see it and would help you see it too. As I got older, he would...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire)
Today weâre doing a blog takeover featuring the amazing Jennifer Curtis, CEO and Co-founder of Firsthand Foods. Jen and I are in a monthly business mastermind group together and I was inspired by the insights she shared at our October gathering about her recent sabbatical. Todayâs post is for anyone who is in pursuit of finding the time and space to recharge at a deep level and what to do with that timeâŚwhen you get it. Thanks, Jennifer!
âWhat are you going to do?â
Thatâs the question everyone asked as I prepared to take my first-ever 6-week sabbatical.
âI donât know,â was my answer.
Feeling somewhat ashamed that I had nothing planned, I wondered if I was missing out by not going on a big adventure. But something deep inside instructed me otherwise. This was a time to let go of plans, schedules and âshoulds.â
I cleared my Google calendar and erased the household âTo Doâ list on the side of the refrigerator. I wanted to stay curious. If not direct...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Today I want to share with you something that struck me recently: the fact that sometimes I get in the way of my own success. It's amazing how we don't see it, isn't it? We think itâs the outside world, but the truth is we sabotage ourselves more often than not. So today I thought I'd help us all get out of our own way.
Hereâs what happens: You see an opportunity, and you feel that telltale flip in your stomach that tells you that you really want whatever this is⌠this new role, new job, new relationship. Itâs so perfect for you that you ache for it to be yours! You know what Iâm talking about. That desire for something new that makes you feel alive!
But⌠itâs gonna be a reach, and you know it. Youâd have to grow. Even stepping on your tippy toes, this oneâs a stretch.
So you envision the cost: potentially embarrassing failure. Because what if you get the opportunity and you blow it? Terrifying! Or what if you apply and they shoot you down without even...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
We're winding down 'Open Book October' and I want to prove that leadership lessons show up in the most unexpected places.
It's the summer of 1994. I'm working three part-time jobsâ babysitter to two small boys, customer service rep at an antique store and furniture maker on an Amish farm in Grabill, Indiana.Â
That last one is a surprise, right? Well, it's true! That summer I worked for the Sauder family and made hand-crafted curio cabinets for Bath and Body Works stores across North America. We built, painted, and distressed these beauties until they looked vintage. And my job was to slap the fire retardant coating on each piece before assembly. It could have been worse.Â
And, as you might imagine, being the only girl (and Black girl) on team was a bit intimidating at first. Each morning, I would drive the 50 minutes to Amish country and venture down a long gravel driveway surrounded by cornfields to a massive white barn full of sawhorses, 2x4âs ...
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