(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

We all have unique personalities and traits that make us stand out from one another. In times of war and peace, certain qualities are more valuable than others, and people who exhibit specific traits tend to thrive more in one environment than the other.

This came to light for me a few weeks ago, during my time off last month. While I was enjoying sinking into some intentional rest and restoration, I also felt… well, rest-LESS. I lost sleep, my mind was racing, and I was itching to turn my pace up by a notch or ten.

After chatting with a colleague about this over coffee, he wisely said, “That’s because you’re built for wartime. You don’t know what to do with yourself during peacetime.”

And just like that, the puzzle pieces started to click into place for me. He was right; I needed more active rest to meet my wartime energy. So I went bird watching, visited museums and engaged in low-pressure vision planning sessions. Sure enough, almost immediatel...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

We often talk about designing the life we WANT…what about honoring the life we NEED!

Like millions of students, my son just wrapped up his Spring Break in South Florida. He trekked around Miami, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach, where he attends college. He had a ball with his friends and got the mental reset he and so many students and teachers need to finish the academic year strong.

I love this annual ritual. But…it also made me wonder why Spring Break doesn’t apply to adults. I’m not talking about vacation PTO. I’m talking about unstructured and untethered time off designed in service of our need to unplug from the matrix and reconnect to ourselves and the things that matter.

So, a couple weeks ago I stopped wondering and decided to take an annual ‘Spring Break’ in April.

Now, if you’ve been following this column, you’ll remember that last year around the same time I was not this inspired. In fact I was the exact opposite of inspired. A ye...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Over the course of Women’s History Month, we’ve celebrated women’s accomplishments and the women we admire. We’ve talked about resilience, crucible moments and the badassery that defines women in leadership. That said, today I want to dive into a question that often poses a unique challenge for women… and men alike.

What said challenge do you speak of, Jes? Well, it’s when you successfully move through your goals like you’re on autopilot…accomplishing things others continue to strive for. It’s when you’ve worked your way through the ranks in your company or built a sustainable business from the ground up and find yourself on a narrow road with fewer exciting sights to see. It’s when you realize you’ve done all that can be done on your particular path and say the words that so many have said… "Now What?”

A common misnomer is that those who reach a career pinnacle and find themselves on the road less traveled are more fulfilled, but in fact they oft...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

I don't know where you're at on your journey, but today I'm popping in to remind you that the best stuff is almost always found when we venture off the highway.

As you know by now, roadmaps are central to our business. One of our mottos is “Be a Traveler, not a Tourist,” and this is rooted in the firm belief that you have agency over your life. You’re not being herded in a tour bus to places you don’t want to see. Nor do you need to live your life married to the route Siri chose for you. You’re on a life journey, and your current route may be charted to take you from point A to B, but you have options. You don’t have to stay the course—especially not if somebody else chose it for you.

And why would you want to stay on autopilot when there are exciting off ramps to explore? These detours are the very experiences that can change your life journey entirely. If I’m driving somewhere and I see there’s weather ahead, I’m going to alter my route, right? O...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

It’s Women’s History Month, and I’m here for it! Today, I want to take a moment to spotlight two women who know what the phrase ”when the going gets tough” really means.  Women who didn’t crumble in the face of adversity and that I deeply admire. These women harnessed the power of the crucible moment to live better. Louder. Fuller.

So, what are crucible moments? Crucible moments are when you feel the heat. Moments when the loss was deep or the challenges daunting. The times when you thought it’s sink-or-swim and I don’t know if I’m going to make it.

When I think of my own crucible moments, I think about the season that followed my divorce. Trying to make it as a single mom. Living in a new community with virtually no friends and working a patchwork of freelance projects to try and pay the bills in the middle of the recession. I could have folded… but I found the strength not to crumble. I found my way. And today, I help others do the same.

Meet tw...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

I'm excited to kick off Women's History Month with some thoughts on a topic that I think every woman needs to contemplate: Is it possible to live authentically in this perfectionist world?

Sure, this is the month to celebrate accomplishments (and we definitely will). It's the month we recognize the women we admire, appreciate and respect.

In the spirit of leading an Anti-Performance Culture Revolution, I've decided to devote the first newsletter of Women's History Month to the topic of living authentically above all else.

Today's feature comes from one of our Travelers. Every time I lead a cohort, I gain valuable insight and inspiration from these incredible women, and today I get to share with you a few thoughts from Sarah Chick of Research Triangle Foundation (May 2022 cohort of 28 Days of Reinvention).

This is the good stuff right here. You might want to print and get your highlighter. Just sayin'...

Take it away, Sarah!

Hugs,

Jes

Living a...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

“People don’t have to like you, people don’t have to love you, people don’t even have to respect you. But when you look in the mirror, you better love what you see!” This gem brought to you by Sheryl Lee Ralph from Abbott Elementary.

You better love what you see… that’s the true test isn’t it? It’s where it all begins and ends. Over the last two weeks we’ve been unpacking performance culture and our need to kowtow to it. The trend is so pervasive that I dare say we might be addicted to the behavior. But to what end?

When we’re under the influence of performance culture, our reactions to workplace pressure and violations of our boundaries are heightened and extreme. We can forget what’s really important to us and lose ourselves in the pursuit other people’s approval and validation. Cue Sally Fields… "You like me, right now you really like me!”

As we round third in this series, Let’s spend a little more time on the differences between a performance ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

So... last week I introduced the topic of performance culture. And boy, oh boy, do folks in leadership love to talk about this subject. CEOs and mid-level managers alike can’t pass up the opportunity to share their success formula that usually includes stretch goals, high performers and golden outcomes.

Sure I get it, but this obsession with performance feeds the narrative that to land a Series A round, be considered for the SVP role or have a storybook ‘meet-cute’ you must be perfect in just about every way. Hell, am I allowed to post an IG photo without lipgloss? Even Hollywood has picked up on this, in shows like WeCrashed and Super Pumped.

So, the question is: are we becoming addicted to performance culture?

Now listen, I’m a high-performer so the idea of turning away from performance culture can feel a little scary. After all, aren’t the two things connected?  The answer is… not always. Operating outside the influence of performance culture a...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Frankly, we're long overdue. Let me explain. 

So... last week I ran into Ryan Ray, President and CEO of Jobs for Life, a very purposeful organization I deeply respect. As we were doing the whole “How-are-you? Happy New Year” thing, he dropped this insight that made me lean in a bit.

He said: “Most people are living their lives as if they’re always preparing for a big test.”

That made me cringe a little... literally. I have terrible test anxiety, so if every day felt like I was prepping for a big test, I would just dig a hole, crawl in and call it a day. But the crux of his statement rings true, doesn’t it?

We live like we’re going to be graded on our performance (and some of us are—here’s looking at you, Meta, and your off-the-charts employee performance reviews). It's as if we’re living on the cover of a magazine or someone is going through our homes with a white glove to inspect our progress. 

This is a fool’s errand. And it’s time for an anti...

So… some of you know that we ran a burnout recovery beta program over the holidays. The program, called Reinvention Rest Stop: Living Beyond Burnout, turned out to be a wealth of insight including one in particular that struck me as so surprising that I decided to share it here today.

Drum roll, please… 

Apparently, using the escape hatch to run to isolation is not central to burnout recovery.

In other words, the majority of our Living Beyond Burnout participants were actually seeking out community. They wanted to spend time with other people who were also feeling exhausted so they could compare notes, share recovery ideas and cheer each another on.

Here’s why it surprised me. Ask any burned out person the following questions and you’ll hear pretty much the same thing…

How do you feel about your work schedule? (Too much! Cancel all my meetings, please and thank you.)

How do you feel about your social schedule? (Too much! I wish I could say no to everything and just watch Netflix....