Last week I talked about how I've been tryin' to hold on through a wild season of change. 

This week? Let's talk about that wheel that gets extra wobbly during times like this: Friendship.

And to be real, I’m not just talking about friendships.

I’m talking about the shame and tension that comes with not being the friend you wish you could be.

You know what I mean, right? That pressure to be intentional, thoughtful and consistent—when you’re just trying to make it through your day.

Let me tell you what triggered all this for me.

I’ve been watching Meghan Markle’s new show, With Love, From Meghan. And listen—she is lovely. She’s kind. She’s intentional. She’s making jam, harvesting honey, wrapping sweet little gifts with handwritten notes and natural twine. SIGH...

And the whole time I’m watching, I’m thinking…

“I must be the worst friend.”

Because, come on...

• I’m running a business that just pivoted.
• I’m building out and launching Reinvention Hub.
• I’m in the middle of a s...

A couple of people recently asked me how the house is coming along… and that’s when it hit me: I’m basically living in a full-on metaverse of reinvention.

My physical home is being renovated.

I’m living with my partner while that’s happening (small space + both our stuff = a lot of learning).

And of course, I’m teaching and preaching reinvention in coaching sessions, on stage, and inside the Hub.

But here’s what I’ve realized: It’s one thing to talk about reinvention. It’s another to live it.

Right now, I feel like I’m driving a wild-stallion-pulled carriage—hanging on for dear life while flying toward a future I chose, bumping over potholes, trying to keep the wheels from falling off.

Real talk? Reinvention is messy. It’s beautiful, sure—but it’s also a lot of work. It’s stressful. It can feel lonely. And sometimes, it’s hard to believe the future version of your life is even lovable—especially when the present is hard to sit in.

But this week, I’ve been reminding myself of thi...

It’s 2024. It’s time to lead with value. Full stop. 

Why am I talking about this? Let me set the scene. 

It’s Sunday afternoon in downtown Raleigh. Over 100 Triangle Leaders are gathered. Dynamic conversations abound. And somehow I found myself in the middle of it.

What was the catalyst? The screening of the acclaimed documentary OnBoard the Film, covering the journey of corporate board diversity from Patricia Roberts Harris—the first Black woman to sit on a corporate board (and at IBM nonetheless)—to the present day. This film informed, inspired and empowered us all. 

The Discussion

Immediately following the screening, I had the honor of moderating the discussion with three extraordinary women: Gina Loften, Fortune 100 Board Director, Rashida Hodge, Corporate Vice President of Microsoft, and Trisha Price, Chief Product Officer of Pendo. Here are some of the things I was curious about. (While this isn’t a direct transcript, I’ve provided a few of the questions, answers and takeawa...

Now, you might have Shonda Rhimes’s Yes to Everything in mind but that’s not what we’re talking about here (and let’s be honest, that’s how people get roped into things like bungee jumping and running marathons—uh…. nooooo thank you!). 

I’m not talking about saying yes to everything; in fact, I want to talk about doing exactly the opposite. I’m talking about clearing out the clutter and making room for the things that really light us up, the things that make us shout "YES!" to the sky. 

Close your eyes and think about the last time you felt this. Remember the adrenaline rush, the victory dance you did in your kitchen… all that good stuff. Breathe. Remember. Imagine.

Because a life full of big YESSES is a real option! 

I was reminded of this while having coffee with a good friend at the top of the year. Just as we were getting ready to leave, she mentioned something that was her big yes and it caught my attention. It made me wonder why such a simple idea felt so novel to me in that ...

Can you remember a time when you witnessed the birth of an idea? Or a time when you created the environment that allowed for really good brainstorming? Moments like this are powerful and are often the beginnings of “good trouble.”

Over the last week, I experienced this in real time…twice. First during our Fall Reset Workshop  and then again five days later at the Black Founders Exchange Kickback hosted by Google for Startups and the American Underground. In each instance, questions, doubts and curiosities hung in the air. But rather quickly, walls were broken down, genuine connections were made and ideas flowed. 

It was cool to have a front row seat to this magic. It was like watching fireworks appear out of nowhere – and the formula was simple:

• First, to create the magic at all, someone has to take the initiative. If you want to be a part of something special, you might need to be the catalyst. In my case, I set up the gatherings, secured the spaces and crafted the guestlist.
• De...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

As the final notes of “Auld Lang Syne” fade and the remnants of fireworks sparkle in the night sky, many of us are imbued with optimism. After all, January 1st is heralded as the gateway to new beginnings and fresh starts. It’s the day we collectively agree that we’re allowed to push the giant red reset button. It’s a milestone moment.

And we love a good milestone, don’t we? Hallmark has fueled an entire industry to help us celebrate them. And milestones like January 1st, weddings, birthdays, or even that 1st year-sober chip hold power.

That said, here’s the hard truth that we don’t like to admit: there is no mystical transformation that takes place at the stroke of midnight. Our debts, our annoyances, our struggles—they don’t magically reset in the face of a new calendar page. At least… not on their own…

The magic of January 1st only works if you’ve laid the groundwork in advance. And in my opinion, there is one key component that makes or breaks...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Be honest with me… when you read the title, where did you think I was going with this? Were you expecting me to glorify the leaders who “show up and show out”? Or maybe you thought, “Ahhh... she’s going to try and convince me to bring my ‘A-game’ everywhere I go..."

Surprise! Today we’re going to explore why it’s okay to simply take up space… or even sit in the back.

The Difference

You see, every time you enter a room, you have two options. You can show up as the fire starter who brings the warmth, carries the mood and leads the conversation? Or… you can intentionally and quietly take up space to observe, learn and conserve energy. The very nature of this posture allows others to take the reins and shine.

The Conditions

Social norms and conventional leadership often signal that ‘taking up space’ is selfish, unproductive and a waste of time. And as leaders we can feel obligated to strike the match and lead the way wherever we go. But really, ther...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Time to clean out that junk drawer.

This column got a lot of buzz last year so we’re bringing it back for a little reprise.

Here it is… your annual reminder to dump out that drawer, sort through the random stuff you’ve collected over the year, and get things back in order. You’ll feel sooooooo much better after you do!

This isn’t limited to your physical junk drawer. Our lives have junk drawers too. Every day we’re collecting new ideas, reinforcing habits (good or bad) and investing in relationships at every level. We hold on to these things because they have value in the moment. And we have every intention of putting them to good use, right? But, if we’re not careful, that drawer can get messy and crowded – losing the very value it was created to support in the first place.

Now, if you’ve been reading this column for any length of time, you know that I believe in 90-day sprints – which essentially means I take stock of my “junk drawer” when the ...

I’m out for recess!

Yep, I’m living into the things I preach and scheduling breaks over the next 4 days to read, plan for the fall and get a Thai massage. Can’t wait!

What’s the inspiration you ask?  Well, let’s hop in the way-back machine… all the way back to elementary school. You’re fidgeting in Mr. Snoresville’s class, watching the clock, waiting for the bell to ring so you can dash out the door because…

It’s Recess!

You can feel it, can’t you? The excitement of heading outside to unstructured play and 45 minutes of sweet, sweet freedom.

Maybe you settled into a spot on the bus curb and ki-ki’d about crushes. Or you grabbed a basketball to play H-O-R-S-E with the crew. Or maybe you were out on the field choreographing dance moves to the latest song.

Jump rope… swings…whatever… recess was the best!

So what happened? When did the magic of recess get left behind in our memories? How did it get replaced by overwork and burnout? There’s probably a million little reasons, but toda...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

It’s finally fall… okay, fine we’re 16 days away from the official starting line.  But, if you’re a cool-weather leaf-changing fanatic like me, the day the calendar shifts from August 31^st to September 1^st, you’ve stepped into autumn. And in my world, autumn is a time to ground your energy, settle in and reflect on the natural cycle of change. Amen, amen!

If you follow me, you’ve picked up that I reference sports a lot in my writing because I find that so many athletes have beautiful hero’s journeys from which I draw inspiration. That said, last week, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between the fall and the fourth quarter of a football game. Okay, hang in there… I promise I’m going to bring this point home.

So, last Thursday, I flew down to West Palm Beach to watch my son’s first football game of the season. The Keiser University Seahawks fought hard against an outsized opponent and through an incessant downpour of rain. After halftime,...