(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Fall is here and at my house that means it’s time to clean out the junk drawer – both literally and figuratively. And call me weird, but I find this little activity pretty delightful. There’s something about sorting and purging a drawer of personal hidden treasures that gives me a lot of satisfaction.

Our lives have junk drawers too. Every day we collect new ideas, reinforce habits (good or bad) and invest in relationships at every level. We hold on to these things because they have value in the moment. And, we have every intention of putting them to good use, right? But, if we’re not careful, that drawer can get messy and indistinct – losing the very value it was created to support in the first place.

Now, if you’ve been reading along this year, you know that I believe in 90-day sprints – which essentially means I take stock of my “junk drawer” when the seasons change. I’ve found that regularly stepping back to see how I’m moving in the world help...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

It’s football season and I’m a Buckeye fan.

I know, I know… I live in the heart of Tobacco Road and am lightweight obligated to pick a side, but the truth is… wait for it… I’m ACC agnostic.

But I promise to share something today that will resonate regardless of where you side on this battle line. A lesson I learned from my son, Tre.

Last week, his football team flew to Mississippi for a big game.

I watched expectedly on TV to see him step on the football field after almost three years. H­is 6’5”, 200-pound frame is a coach’s dream.

Yet not even I (his mom and the queen of “you can do anything”) was sure he’d have the opportunity to play again. During the pandemic he took a gap year, forfeited a football scholarship, and went on a quest to figure out exactly what he wanted.

As a mom you want your kids to have a smooth road… no potholes, no roadblocks, no harm.

But this was way out of my league – I couldn’t make this dream a reality for him. He ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

I’m writing to you this week from a little balcony overlooking twin ponds on the sweetest horse farm in Vass, NC. Now, I grew up in small-town America so heading out of the city and in the direction of open fields and Piggly Wigglys feels like going home. 

Honestly, if left to my own devices, I probably wouldn’t have stolen away for these last few days. But luckily one of my team members was savvy enough to look ahead in my calendar and said, “Ya know you could take some time off, right? Your schedule eases up this week.”

“No, actually, I hadn’t noticed this beacon of light in an otherwise full calendar – do I still have time to run off to the Caymans?”

Ha… not quite. What we ultimately decided was while a trip to the Caribbean was tempting, this gifted break was also a perfectly placed opportunity to walk, wander, rest and plan for the next 90 days. So off I went – to a sanctuary in the country about an hour and half from home.

Now, contrary to ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

The brain is a mysterious place… a wild wild west of sorts, and not well adapted for today’s demands. I’m learning this and so much more as I explore the causes and remedies of burnout. Today is part one of two on the neuroscience behind burnout, which means today I’m going to tell you some of the fascinating things I’ve learned from Dr. Amit Sood, author of “Smart” and creator of the Resilient Option program.

Dr. Sood, colloquially known as the “Happiness Doctor” of the Mayo Clinic, talks about how our brains have very specific needs and vulnerabilities, many of which are rooted historically in our fight or flight response when facing predators. Our poorly adapted brains don’t know how to adjust to modern day demands, and as a result, we’re exhausted. Our brains are literally tired, and we don’t know how to give them the type of rest they need.

But here’s the thing: “rest” as we think of it, isn’t always the answer. Think of it as your brain is a ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Courage. It’s a word I love, because the root “cor” is Latin for “heart.” As Brene Brown said in her famous TedTalk on Vulnerability, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”

Last week I witnessed the intersection of this idea while facilitating an executive leadership retreat. And while I’ve led dozens of these, this one was different.

Here’s what happened.

True to form (and brand) I built the day to feel like we were headed out on road trip together. It was designed to take this team of ‘travelers’ on a journey of self-discovery, crucial conversations and team building. We set out with a set of exercises to establish common ground. Then we picked up speed by building on the team’s distinct strengths and core values.

By mid-day our travelers pulled out their roadmaps to look ahead and identify any crucial road blocks that might be preventing them from working together at the highest level – a difficult but powerfu...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

If you think about my career as a road map, you might imagine a cross country trip on Route 66. I have a plan. I have a destination. But I also have an insatiable curiosity. That curiosity has allowed me to take in the sights, read the billboards along the way and make a few unexpected stops. Life’s an adventure and I’ve enjoyed the ride.

So…why is it so hard to reinvent yourself? Why can’t we all just click our heels three times and be done with it?  Well, life. Life gets in the way.

That said, it’s possible. I know it is because I’ve reinvented myself multiple times. And I’m quite sure I’ll do it again. With that in mind, let’s talk about the roadblocks I know are out there, and how to maneuver around them instead of slamming into them head on.

Reinvention Roadblock #1: Maybe, you don’t really want to travel this new route.

If you feel like there’s always something more important in the way, then maybe this new route isn’t really for you.

Here...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Stop doing. Just be…even if it's just for a minute.

So often, we feel driven to produce. Do more. Contribute more. Be better.

Even when we’re doing something that feels relatively mindless, like scrolling through social media, we’re drawn to things that subconsciously make us feel like we’re not enough. Diet hacks? Plumper skin tips? Summer swim ads? Dream destination pics? The message whispered in your ear is, “You would be happier if you looked more like her or were sipping wine in Paris with him…“
Basically, the message is “Hey girl…”

“Whatever your present is, it isn’t good enough.”

“Why aren’t you doing anything to improve yourself, your life, your kids, your home, your job?

And that’s just social media. <Rolling my eyes.> We’re not even addressing the real pressures we all face and the real demands we tackle at work.  Throw the kids, parents, relationships in the mix…and it’s enough to… well, to burn a person out.

To regain your sanity, yo...

Warning: I’m about to say a thing that might hit you wrong…or step on some toes. And in the age of cancel culture, I’m asking that you hang in there with me. It’ll make sense in the end. We good? Okay, let’s go.

So…I asked a client how she was doing last week, and she said, “Honestly Jes, I’m fine. I’m rolling. I know you’re writing about burnout these days, but I’m not burned out. And in full transparency, I think many of my ‘burned out’ colleagues…might not be used to working full days anymore.”

I was struck by her candor. But then she elaborated. “I think some people worked less during COVID, not more. Now that they’re back in the office routine, they’re trying to catch up. Meanwhile, their well-meaning coworkers are filling in the gaps. Those are the folks that are burned out while others…just haven’t regained their footing yet.”

I took a day to sit with her assessment and while I couldn’t find a study or data point on this, there was probably some truth to it. COVID hit people ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Okay, here’s the deal. My friend and Oh, Lords! co-author, Terresa Zimmerman is a force! She’s the founder and CEO of a men’s underwear company called Wood (it’s okay to laugh) and co-founder of Sayhii a company that activates people in the workplace with purpose. She’s also a helluva golfer.

Recently, she invited me to be her ‘guest’ at a two-day, member-guest tournament held over the weekend. When she asked, I said, “Girl, you know I only look the part, right? I have the clubs, the golf shoes and the cute skirts, but my golf game is garbage.” She assured me I’d be fine and we’d have a good time.

Listen, I’m no dummy. I know golf is a beast. It’s a game that can tear you down and build you up in one stroke. If I was going to make it out alive, I would have to focus on three things: my attitude, my coachability and the beverage cart.

Result: not only did I survive, we had a ball (pun intended). Here are a few of my takeaways.

1. Give yourself tim...