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Saying Yes to One Thing Means...

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Last week we talked about the Say:Do ratio—in other words, do you do what you say you’re going to do? Are you known for your reliable follow-through, or do you get lost along the path to getting it done?  How you answer these questions is critical because walking around with a low Say:Do ratio can wreak havoc on your personal and professional relationships – eroding others’ trust and confidence in you.

Now, to be fair, most people with low Say:Do ratios are good-hearted and well-intentioned. The challenge arises when they forget that saying yes to one thing means saying no or compromising another. This misstep lands them squarely in an overcommitment minefield, disappointing those around them and creating unnecessary tension. And let me tell you, it’s hard to escape this territory unscathed.

So the question is how do we recover?  Better yet, how do avoid falling into the low Say:Do ratio trap?

Below...

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It’s Time to Check your Say:Do Ratio

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Believe it or not, January is almost a distant memory. But it’s the perfect time to check in on your Say:Do ratio. Not familiar with the term? Here’s a better way to reframe it: Do you do what you say you’re going to do?

We often hear people say:

  • “I’ll believe it when I see it!”
  • “They’re all talk, no action.”
  • “Talk is cheap.”

When people say these sorts of things, someone’s Say:Do ratio is being appraised. This week let’s do a self-examination to better understand the big impact this little idea has on our lives. The outcome might just predict how successful or unsuccessful you’ll be with your goals and dreams this year.

I’ll start.

There was a time when my Say:Do was in the basement. I said yes to everything and didn’t take the time to think about how I was going to honor my commitments and other’s expectations. If you wanted to pass something...

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Evolve or Repeat? YOU Get to Choose

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Lately it feels like our dreams and goals are getting sidelined by the headlines. We’ve been frozen in a game of COVID freeze tag…Omicron freeze tag…pick-the-next-variant freeze tag for almost two years. I can’t turn around without someone telling me how I should feel based on the breaking news of the moment. Collectively we’ve been holding our breath for the “other” shoe to drop; meanwhile, while we turn blue…time is ticking away.

Today, I want to remind you that you have a choice to grow and evolve. You can forge ahead and design a year that feeds your soul, challenges your intellect and taps the shoulder of your curiosity…OR you can simply repeat.

Last Saturday, I hosted our second annual Reinvention Summit. Women (and a few good men) from across the country tuned in to kick off 2022 and get serious about what’s next. To recap, I wanted to share a few key takeaways that might help...

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The Brush is in Your Hand

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Amy Sherald, the artist who painted Michelle Obama’s Smithsonian portrait said, “It comes down to painting the work I want to see exist in the world.”

Friends, we are less than 48 hours from the start of a new year and I want to remind you that the brush is in your hand. If 2021 was not everything you imagined, think of January 1st as a factory reset. If you built momentum last year and are closer to reaching an important milestone, January 1st might be the home stretch. Either way, in two days we start with a blank canvas. Now is the time to create what you want to see exist in the world.  

Last week, I encouraged you to embrace your wanderlust and offered seven steps to help you set up for a breakthrough year. This week, let’s go deeper and address the possibility that when you allow your mind to wander, you might get stuck or feel a little lost.

THIS. IS. NORMAL.

And you’re in good...

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Wanderlust: Seven Steps to Make 2022 Your Breakout Year

Editor’s note: Triangle entrepreneur and thought leader Jes Averhart, CEO of Jes & Co and host of the “Reinvention Road Trip,” joins WRAL TechWire today as a regular contributor. She will be exploring a variety of topics with an emphasis on reinvention in these trying times of COVID. Her columns appear on Thursdays.

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RESEARCH TRIANGLE PARK – “You’ll never influence the world by being just like it!” — (An Anonymous but Very Wise Person)

 Greetings from Boone, NC! For the last seven years, my family has made an annual pilgrimage over the holidays to Western North Carolina. We stake claim to a cabin, play cards, puzzle, and watch holiday movies in front of a fireplace. As my mom and son get older, it’s a tradition that has become sacred to me. I slow down. I’m present. 

 Inevitably, on the morning of the second day, coffee in hand, phone out of reach, and a cabin still asleep, my mind...

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New Column in TechWire!

Below you'll find my first article in my new weekly column in WRAL Techwire. Enjoy!

RESEARCH TRIANGLE PARK – Hello TechWire!! I’m thrilled to be on this platform with you. Six years ago, I was introduced to the Triangle Tech Community by way of the American Underground where I co-founded Black Wall Street Homecoming, a nonprofit created to address the funding gap for founders of color. Since then, I’ve watched the Triangle emerge as one of the fastest growing markets in the country for entrepreneurs and tech companies and am honored to join the many voices that speak to you each week.

As CEO of Jes & Co and creator of 28 Days of Reinvention, I hope this weekly column provides the insight about reinvention required to help you confidently determine your next right steps.

Why? Well, we’re in a bit of a crisis it seems. These days, it feels like we’re having trouble tapping into our mojo. We’ve replaced the...

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BURNOUT - Part II

Wow… such an incredible response from last week’s post about burnout. I heard from several of you! So many good thoughts on how hard (and real!) burnout is, which sent me on a quest to one, deal with my own burnout, and two, seek answers to how to best handle it.  

I talked with a friend of mine who is a mental health counselor. She confirmed that yes indeed, burnout is both common and debilitating. Burnout feels spiral-ry… it feels like you are spinning out of control. You spiral repeatedly until you’re so exhausted that you want to crawl under your desk and sleep for the rest of the year.

The good news is you can prevent burnout! It all comes down to the commitment to daily mental health practices that recharge and relax you, which is probably no surprise in principle but can be super hard to actually do. After all, it takes self-discipline to choose your mental health practice over whatever demands are in your face screaming at you. 

You...

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Personal Enemy #1 - Burnout

On Monday I was wrestling with the onset of burnout. The feelings of overwhelm almost took me out!  From calendar and volunteer commitments to client deadlines, unanswered text messages, and emails...it was a lot. I was losing my mojo. Burnout stirs thoughts that can either crush us forever or inspire us to make big changes. Thoughts like:
  • I’m soooooooooooo tired.
  • What if I can’t do this any longer? 
  • If I keep on like this, what will happen to me inside? Can I bear it?
Last week I sent invitations to beta test our new 28 Day Reinvention Road Trip cohort. Obviously, I read ALL the applications, and one woman specifically mentioned BURNOUT! Instantly, I said out loud, “I totally get this! I can’t wait to work with her!” I wanted to jump through my laptop and give her a big hug.

Why?

Because burnout is real, folks and it takes real courage to admit feeling burned out. It takes even more guts to look it in the eye and say, "Hell, no!...
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REST vs. BALANCE

Uncategorized Sep 25, 2021

I’m pretty sure this drives my team crazy but I usually wait until Friday morning to write this. I have a hard time landing the plane on my thoughts until I absolutely have to. So Happy Friday, Friends! 

Here goes. Since COVID hit, I can unequivocally say that I’ve been chasing rest and not moving from the center of it.  

Earlier this week during an episode of the Just Podcast, my buddy Rob Shields and guest Terrance Ruth got on the topic of rest.  Rob is reading a book called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and the question he dropped, rocked me a little.

Are you leading and living from a place of rest or are you working all day to get the chance to rest?

For years I’ve called BS on chasing balance (that ain’t a real thing). Now I'm wondering if instead, we shouldn’t aim to love, play and work from a place of rest.

What would it look like to not be in a hurry - for just...

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FALL…it's got me thinking.

Uncategorized Sep 25, 2021

I don’t know about you but I live for the Fall. I always have. This season naturally perks me up with the promise of comfy sweaters, cozy cups of coffee on brisk days and a timeout on the humidity - my hair is grateful. Growing up in the Midwest, the Fall meant after-school cheerleading practice to get ready for Friday night football games and watching the Big Ten (when there were actually 10) with my grandpa on Saturday afternoons.  Go Buckeyes!

Whatever your relationship with Fall, I think it’s the best example of how to embrace change. These next few months are a gentle reminder that change is both beautiful and complex. Here are a few ideas to help you embrace it.

Nurture your social connections.

  • Call your people and organize a brunch or an outing
  • Join that book club you’ve been eyeing
  • Schedule a weekly walk routine with a friend

Check your stress.

  • Increase your sleep and/or take naps
  • Keep your screen time low
  • Get lost in your thoughts on...
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