(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Courage. Itās a word I love, because the root ācorā is Latin for āheart.ā As Brene Brown said in her famousĀ TedTalk on Vulnerability, the word courage meant āTo speak oneās mind by telling all oneās heart.ā
Last week I witnessed the intersection of this idea while facilitating an executive leadership retreat. And while Iāve led dozens of these, this one was different.
Hereās what happened.
True to form (and brand) I built the day to feel like we were headed out on road trip together. It was designed to take this team of ātravelersā on a journey of self-discovery, crucial conversations and team building. We set out with a set of exercises to establish common ground. Then we picked up speed by building on the teamās distinct strengths and core values.
By mid-day our travelers pulled out their roadmaps to look ahead and identify any crucial road blocks that might be preventing them from working together at the highest level ā a difficult but powerfu...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
If you think about my career as a road map, you might imagine a cross country trip on Route 66. I have a plan. I have a destination. But I also have an insatiable curiosity. That curiosity has allowed me to take in the sights, read the billboards along the way and make a few unexpected stops. Lifeās an adventure and Iāve enjoyed the ride.
Soā¦why is it so hard to reinvent yourself? Why canāt we all just click our heels three times and be done with it?Ā Well, life. Life gets in the way.
That said, itās possible. I know it is because Iāve reinvented myself multiple times. And Iām quite sure Iāll do it again. With that in mind, letās talk about the roadblocks I know are out there, and how to maneuver around them instead of slamming into them head on.
Reinvention Roadblock #1: Maybe, you donātĀ reallyĀ want to travel this new route.
If you feel like thereās always something more important in the way, then maybe this new route isnāt really for you.
Here...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Stop doing. Just beā¦even if it's just for a minute.
So often, we feel driven to produce. Do more. Contribute more. Be better.
Even when weāre doing something that feels relatively mindless, like scrolling through social media, weāre drawn to things that subconsciously make us feel like weāre not enough. Diet hacks? Plumper skin tips? Summer swim ads? Dream destination pics? The message whispered in your ear is, āYou would be happier if you looked more like her or were sipping wine in Paris with himā¦ā
Basically, the message is āHey girlā¦ā
āWhatever your present is, it isnāt good enough.ā
āWhy arenāt you doing anything to improve yourself, your life, your kids, your home, your job?
And thatās just social media. <Rolling my eyes.> Weāre not even addressing the real pressures we all face and the real demands we tackle at work. Ā Throw the kids, parents, relationships in the mixā¦and itās enough to⦠well, to burn a person out.
To regain your sanity, yo...
Warning: Iām about to say a thing that might hit you wrongā¦or step on some toes. And in the age of cancel culture, Iām asking that you hang in there with me. Itāll make sense in the end. We good? Okay, letās go.
Soā¦I asked a client how she was doing last week, and she said, āHonestly Jes, Iām fine. Iām rolling. I know youāre writing about burnout these days, but Iām not burned out. And in full transparency, I think many of my āburned outā colleaguesā¦might not be used to working full days anymore.ā
I was struck by her candor. But then she elaborated. āI think some people worked less during COVID, not more. Now that theyāre back in the office routine, theyāre trying to catch up. Meanwhile, their well-meaning coworkers are filling in the gaps. Those are the folks that are burned out while othersā¦just havenāt regained their footing yet.ā
I took a day to sit with her assessment and while I couldnāt find a study or data point on this, there was probably some truth to it. COVID hit people ...
Summer is flying byā¦Geesh!! So this week, I wanted to offer a few (okay, 10) things to enjoy and savor before this gorgeous season takes a bow.
Summer Bucket List
Find some water! Take a walk on the beach, pack a picnic lunch, or see if somebody will take you out on a boat for a relaxing kickback on the water.
Catch a baseball game! Yaāll know Iām partial to the Durham Bulls but wherever you areā¦support your local team!
Find an inspiring arboretum or summer flower display. (In Raleigh, we love the Dorothea Dix Sunflower FieldĀ orĀ Lavender Oaks FarmĀ in Chapel Hill.
Indulge in a pool day. Bring a novel, sunblock, playlist and jazzy beverages. Youāve probably forgotten how relaxing a good day at the pool can be. *Try making some whimsical jello shots. Check out the ones our staff are crazy about below.
Go on a hot girl walk! Dress up, walk with your best swagger, and enjoy being your powerful beautiful self.
Make homemade ice cream. (This was one
...(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Okay, hereās the deal. My friend and Oh, Lords! co-author, Terresa Zimmerman is a force! Sheās the founder and CEO of a menās underwear company called Wood (itās okay to laugh) and co-founder of Sayhii a company that activates people in the workplace with purpose. Sheās also a helluva golfer.
Recently, she invited me to be her āguestā at a two-day, member-guest tournament held over the weekend. When she asked, I said, āGirl, you know I only look the part, right? I have the clubs, the golf shoes and the cute skirts, but my golf game is garbage.ā She assured me Iād be fine and weād have a good time.
Listen, Iām no dummy. I know golf is a beast. Itās a game that can tear you down and build you up in one stroke. If I was going to make it out alive, I would have to focus on three things: my attitude, my coachability and the beverage cart.
Result: not only did I survive, we had a ball (pun intended). Here are a few of my takeaways.
1. Give yourself tim...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Seems like everybodyās on summer break so we decided to keep it light for the month of July. Today is the first of four light-hearted ālists of the thingsā that keep us smiling over here. Enjoy!
To kick off this light summer series, I want to share with you three things I learned from the 2022 Girls on the Run International (GOTR) Summit, held last week in beautiful Minneapolis.
1. Finding your Passion is not cliché⦠it might actually solve a lot of the worldās problems right now.
The 400 women (and a few good men) I met at the Girls on the Run Summit are full of passion!Ā WOW!Ā They werenāt talking about how tired they were, or complaining that they have no time. No⦠these beautiful humans were vibrantly exploring ways to pour even more into their passion of inspiring girls to be joyful, healthy and confident!
Most of the women I met arenāt paid for the 15-20 hours a week they devote to inspiring girls. And many of them have ābossā jobs on top o...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Last Friday I was having dinner at Rosewater with a team member when something cool happened. We had just ordered drinks and were happily catching up when Graciela, our server, popped back by. Her electric smile, genuine connection and sincere optimism took all of our energy up 10 notches in about 90 seconds. It was as if her energy was on magical currents.
Our evening went from nice to amazing in a blink of an eye. And thatās when it hit us: sometimes all you need is a 90-second refresh.
THE SCIENCE BEHIND 90 SECONDS
Now before you think Iām getting all woo-woo on you, I decided to see what was out there on ā90 secondsā and guess what? Science supports it.
According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, Harvard neuroanatomist (also known as ābrain scientistā) and author of the book āMy Stroke of Insight,ā ninety seconds is all it takes to let go of a negative emotion.
For example, letās say youāre stressed. Pause ninety seconds to label what youāre feeling...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Iām taking a hard left this week to address something that I get asked about regularly.
Many of you know that during the pandemic I left a role I really enjoyed to start my own company. And now, when Iām out and about, Iām often asked: āGirl, how did you do it?ā
Sounds straightforward enough. But this isnāt really what folks want to know. The questionĀ behindĀ the question is, āWerenāt you scared?ā or āHow did you know you could make it work?ā
So this week I thought we might rewind and level set. Last Thursday, I invited you to think about the power of reinvention. I used the analogy ofĀ surfers getting up on their boardĀ and asked you to notice the waves of opportunity in your own life.
As a reminder, reinvention is the action or process by which something is changed so much that it appears entirely new. So, if thatās the measure, Iām an expert in reinvention. Iāve paddled out into the sea more times than I can count. Sometimes I stood up on my boar...
(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)
Itās summertime and Iām coming in with beach energy and little umbrellas on my mind.
Iām also completely inspired by surfers! First, because they casually enter the āhomeā of sharks and jellyfish like itās just another day at the office. And second because they paddle, paddle, paddle, and then, just as a wave swells, they artfully stand up on their longboard and ā if timed right ā swoop along the shoreline with grace.
If youāve been following us here on TechWire, you know we compare burnout to a marathon with a finish line that is woefully out of sight. If we move this analogy to the ocean, the equivalent is a surfer who paddles indefinitely in search of a wave ā but canāt catch it.
But savvy surfers know a secret. They can sense the shift in the water, and at just the right moment, they confidently stand up and harness the energy of the wave instead of relying on their own strength.
That ārightā moment ā that moment is the first step to Reinvent...
50% Complete
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.